Part I: Essay
Before this class I never realized that there was more to my story than what I saw. Throughout my life all I have known is horses and I knew that I always did it with my mother, but I guess I never realized how much I depended on my mother being there with my horse and I. I am trying to understand how I got were I am with horses and why my mother, my younger sister, and I are so close because of them. I would like to believe that we would be as close as we are today without horses, but the truth is I don’t believe we would be. I understand that horses brought my mother and I together, and horses have helped shape who I am today, but I didn’t know until recent investigation that it was the birth of my little sister that was the turning point in how I looked at horses. I know many people in my class think that I should investigate the relationship between my mother and I more, but I think that the birth of my sister and my relationship with her is huge and of great importance. Once my sister was born my relationship with my mother changed as well as my relationship with horses. I know longer compete in horse competitions, rather I am training my little sister (5 years of age) to compete in horse competitions. My question now, however, is why did I give up showing horses to help my little sister “train?” Why did I stop competing when my sister was much too young to even know what horses were. When I gave up competing my sister referred to all four legged animals as “horses,” which many children do, however, they usually refer to them as “dogs” or “cats,” depending on what animals they are familiar with. I know that I love horses, that I love my mother, but what do the two have to do with each other? After contemplating these questions I think that I started to stop competing because my mother could no longer participate and interact as she once did. After having my sister she stopped going as much because it is hard, considering a horse show usually lasts about eight hours and it takes the whole day before to prepare; bathing the horse, shaving the horse, cleaning out the horse trailer, cleaning my tack (i.e. saddle, bridal, halter, boots, etc). However, instead of being jealous of my younger sister I loved her like a mother would, and to this day she means more to me than a lot of people. I cannot imagine her not in my life and she is the reason why I see horses forever in my future, but maybe that’s because I some day want to give my own children what I had. I guess I never realized I had so many questions.
Part II: Defining Moments
Well to me the obvious shift was when my sister was born. I was eightteen years old and just graduating highschool when my mother informed me I was going to be a big sister. All I could think was “big sister?? WHAT??? Dad is having a baby? With who? How?” To me it made no sense at all, and I have no idea to this day why I thought it was my dad, and not my mom. But anyways, I am getting off track. When my mother was pregnant she still did all the horse shows with me, and I loved it. I was amazed that she was due in two weeks, as big as a house (meant in the nicest way possible), and still bringing me to horse shows. Two weeks before she was due I was bringing my horse to a fair for a week for fun with a few friends. This was always the best show for me because it was exciting and fun, even though it was tough work; had to be to the fair by 6 a.m. to feed the horse, clean the stalls, and if my horse rolled in his own poop (let’s hope not) we had to bathe him; then it was time for 6 hours of competition’s/classes, and then we had to feed him, clean his stall again, and pick up our area so it was presentable to people visiting the fair grounds. My mom was incredible, but once my sister was born she stopped going as much. I still did it compete for about a year, however, the big difference was I had to do it by myself, and all that work alone is too exhausting. I stopped going. I stopped competing. The birth of my sister and the fact that I stopped showing is the shift in my mind.
The results of this shift include the fact that I stopped showing and that I am now, five years later, interesting in taking my little sister to horse shows and preparing her for them. I also now ride my horse in trails rather than in the show ring. I also just love going to my moms every other day to help my little sister with her new pony. It is so rejuvenating to do little tasks with my sister and her pony; at this age it isn’t about training hours on end, it is more about getting used to horses, getting on and riding them for only ten minutes or so, and I love doing this with her. I even love riding double with her (both of us on my horse) and taking her around a huge hay field for a ten minute ride where we just walk. She enjoys this so much, especially because she thinks she is controlling my horse, when in fact she is just a passenger. Another effect of this shift is the fact that my mother as a deeper respect for me and sees me as a more mature adult; she thinks it’s odd that a 23 year old wants to come out of her way to spend time with her and her younger sister, but what she doesn’t she is how much I love this. Well I guess she sees this, or else why would I do it?
Part III: Insight & Discovery
I feel like I am going to be repeating myself in this section. I think well writing this treatment I discovered things that I had never thought about, and now I am just going to recite them. Now I know that I will always love horses for what they have given me; stronger relationships, a sense of peace, a sense of growth as a person. I think that I think of horses as a guide; they helped develop my relationship with my mother and they helped strengthen my relationship with my younger sister. Horses also are a way for me to relieve myself; instead of getting a massage I go for a long trail ride on my horse because that is now what I enjoy about horses. I no longer love being inside the horse ring, but I love guiding my sister into it. I now enjoy riding my horse with no witnesses, no judges, but I like to see how well my sister does being judged. I loved my mother guiding me, but now I guide my sister. I am sure that many outsiders think I am crazy, but this is why I am who I am; if not, it is a huge influence in my life.
I would like my audience to learn how horses can influence our lives; how I am a better sister, daughter due to horses; and how much work goes into horses (and how doing this work with others strengthens relationships). I would like to show the transition of me inside the show ring to a person on the outside of the show ring. I used to show, then I took a “break,” and now I am helping my sister and putting her in the show ring. If anyone has suggestions how to improve this I would appreciate it. I think though it could come together as a full circle, and some how I could try to emphasize the relationships established throughout the process. I think by doing this/showing this viewers will not just think of horse racing, gymkhana, equestrian, but rather they will see horses in real life and how they help shape/influence real people.
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